Inner Self

We often look for peace and happiness in the wrong places.Often we reach out to someone( or other things like alcohol etc)  else to fill this void, to rid ourselves of the stress we encounter everyday.

Today i found or should i say reminded myself how easy it is to find this "inner peace", in myself rather than from something (or someone) else.

Im currently dealing with one of the many sides of love,the negative one.Someone that made a huge impact in my life has pushed me away because of some mistakes made.How it happened is irrelevant but i do miss her like crazy.

Life goes on,i do hope to get another chance and show her how much she really means to me but i cant let whats happening NOW get to me. Time will only tell the outcome and thats all i can do right now.

The reason why i posted this is because i want to share that happiness is in all of us,as dumb and silly as it sounds it truly is.The world we live in changes every day and i would love to say the changes are positive, but sadly we are only headed downhill.

we all have to find what makes us happy,staying active is something positive, helping others is also something great to do. Im not saying we should all become saints and hug everyone we see,this is just an example.Here is my reminder.

I was inline to buy something to eat, this older couple walk in and get in line behind me, as they start to discuss what they would like to eat the wife mentions that the shrimp is really good but she doesnt see it on the menu.Since i was looking at the menu trying to narrow down what i wanted to buy myself i noticed the shrimp was there, just kinda hard to see. I over head the lady talking about the shrimp and i could have just minded my own business, but i turned around and pointed out where the shrimp was located.

Its hard to explain but a simple thanks from a stranger is moving. Of course i dont expect anything or help because i need to feel anything from anyone, but i do like offering help when i can.I have always been a giver.

She ended up talking to me a little more while i waited for my food. Asked my once more where the shrimp was located ( i put her age to be in the high 70's) and told me i should try them because they are really good.

This "good deed" lifted me a little, i have been sad and down lately and i just forgot how and where to look for my happiness.


Final thought. Helping others is my way to cope and make life a little better for myself. we are surrounded by so many negative things and haunted by our negative experiences that we lose ourselves in that negativity close our eyes to a happy life.

I will always feel what i feel for this special person,she is amazing in every way, but i cant let what is happening get me down,i will always have hope she returns but in the mean time i will get up, dust off and walk forward. 

   

love 2

ok, well our minds are extremely fragile, this i know. our very mind likes to create thoughts out of our fears. sounds easy to put away but it can be life changing because our lives are run by our  thoughts.


most of the time they are not the truth or even close to whats really going on but they do have some control over us. as sad as it may sound we are that fragile.

we find something that makes us feel good and we hold on to it. when it goes away we dont know how to act. in the end we have total control off the world we live in, from the second we open our eyes, to the minute we close them. we rule the life we where giving and we choose the outcome. the only problem is how we control ourselves each and every second we use the power we where giving.


i trustfully found someone amazing and she is slipping away from me every day. i hope to gain her love back but it doesnt look to be that way. i may have made the biggest mistake of my life.

Love

Why are the best things so difficult? why are they so hard to understand?

I didnt give love so much thought in the past but things always have a way of happening.

Well, a little over a year ago i met someone that grew to be very special to me, someone that made me feel things that i didnt think possible. with these new feels came knew fears and worries, of course since these feeling where knew to me i didnt know how to act. despite my looks i have always have insecurities, everyone has them. but these new found feelings made them worst.

i understand i made some mistakes along the way, like everyone knows, no one is perfect. my intentions where good but the outcome was not good at all. at the end of the day i think my actions had a reason to be there, a reason for happening. with that said i still think my actions where wrong but they can be somewhat justified.

not a day goes by now that idont hate myself for what happened. i caused the actions taken against me. i caused her to push me away.

now i know there are more fish in the sea and i know its not the end of the world, but i cant help but feel bad because she is truely special and makes me feel alive. i cant turn back time, and i cant change her mind but i can only hope she keeps my in her heart long enough to work on earning her love again.

life is too short, i dont want to lose someone to amazing but nothing can be forced.


i would do anything she wants but i dont think i can keep going on as her friend because it just hurts too much to think about what has happened. im fighting the urge to let her go completely because those feelings for her will never go away but i dont want to stress her out, i dont want to give her a hard time.

anyways, time will tell, but i miss her so much, i miss how we where and the love i know is there no matter what is said now.

ill leave it like this and hope for the best. 

Thoughts

The very thoughts we come up with are what create us. From the good to the bad, they shape who we are each and every day.As it has been said for years, be careful what you wish for because it may just come true. Let go of your limitations and think out side of the box, the world is yours for the taking it only depends on what you think and bring to your life.

Happy thoughts can BECOME real, a reality, a possibility. The very core of your inner self is at your reach and in your complete control. make it happen.