Love

Why are the best things so difficult? why are they so hard to understand?

I didnt give love so much thought in the past but things always have a way of happening.

Well, a little over a year ago i met someone that grew to be very special to me, someone that made me feel things that i didnt think possible. with these new feels came knew fears and worries, of course since these feeling where knew to me i didnt know how to act. despite my looks i have always have insecurities, everyone has them. but these new found feelings made them worst.

i understand i made some mistakes along the way, like everyone knows, no one is perfect. my intentions where good but the outcome was not good at all. at the end of the day i think my actions had a reason to be there, a reason for happening. with that said i still think my actions where wrong but they can be somewhat justified.

not a day goes by now that idont hate myself for what happened. i caused the actions taken against me. i caused her to push me away.

now i know there are more fish in the sea and i know its not the end of the world, but i cant help but feel bad because she is truely special and makes me feel alive. i cant turn back time, and i cant change her mind but i can only hope she keeps my in her heart long enough to work on earning her love again.

life is too short, i dont want to lose someone to amazing but nothing can be forced.


i would do anything she wants but i dont think i can keep going on as her friend because it just hurts too much to think about what has happened. im fighting the urge to let her go completely because those feelings for her will never go away but i dont want to stress her out, i dont want to give her a hard time.

anyways, time will tell, but i miss her so much, i miss how we where and the love i know is there no matter what is said now.

ill leave it like this and hope for the best.